If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
only if we run a train.
done.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's never too late to be topless.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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