I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
