Having a random hookup so left but love u
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
