I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
