Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
