"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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