I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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