just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
