If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
