Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
