I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
