i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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