So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
