i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
