I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
