i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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