I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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