I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
