I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
