Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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