Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
