Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
