she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
