he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
