Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
