I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
