so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
