So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
