last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
