Buhtt sex?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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