I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
