Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
