Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
