Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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