Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
