i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
