Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
