i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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