Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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