Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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