I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
