chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Oh god it's open bar.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
