so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
