what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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