just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
