I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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