My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
