I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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