I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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