is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
