Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
