How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
