Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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