I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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