at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
