Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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