Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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