the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
