Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
