this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
